


Trigger Warning

by nonamenad



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Memory Loss, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2019-11-28 05:56:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18204425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonamenad/pseuds/nonamenad
Summary: Kyo was supposed to be imprisoned for good after graduation. Tohru was supposed to accept this and move on with life. She wasn't supposed to confront Akito about it. She wasn't supposed to lose all her memories and be banished from the Sohma's for good. And Kyo, seeing what they did to her, definitely wasn't supposed to bring her back into his own life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt at migrating over to AO3 from FF.net, definitely trying to learn as I go. But anyways, this fic was birthed from the reboot being announced! I'm just as excited as you are!

The rain was unforgiving sometimes  
        When she had awoken, the first thing she took note of is that she was on the ground. She knew because the saturated dirt was beginning to impress itself aground her face, hardening in some areas where the water could reach it. It tucked itself into her hair and she could feel it running up her thighs through her torn skirt. Her fingers tentatively pressed themselves into the cold earth and let it arouse the rest of her senses at the sensation of the low temperature. Her mind was still at a low buzz, the static overlaying the question and confinement that were supposed to be filling her head. All that she could register were the low murmurers and footsteps that crossed this way and that.

  
_I’m in the way again, aren’t I Mom?_

  
       There was no use nor point in trying to figure out where she was exactly. She had no place to be to begin with. She had no obligations, nor did she have anyone that would even take notice she was gone.  
      She stretched her leg and immediately was greeted with a shooting pain up the thigh. She winced, her breath drawing back as she returned to her original position and running soft fingers against herself. She tried to roll onto her side but once more had to stop due to her lower side crying out in protest with more tight recognized pain. She clasped it, her breath becoming more labored than before but still hushed to avoid drawing attention.  
But of course, she had forgotten all about her injuries. She tenderly rubbed herself until the last of the soreness began to ebb away. She must’ve strained herself too much during the walk and passed out again. She was hitting herself mentally for being so careless.  
       She did, however, want to get out of the rain as soon as possible. It was late February so there was yet to be any sign of rising temperatures. There was still a lump sum of piled snow to be spotted behind grocers and in neighborhoods. To make matters worse, every rainfall in the late month was guaranteed to be dreadfully and profoundly cold.  
       Her entire body aches all over. She felt as though if she didn’t keep conscious she would melt into the mud and disappear completely. Waves of nausea came up her stomach at times, but she swallowed it away and gulped deep breaths to keep it down. Her hair began to cling to the sides of her cheek, clumping together in tangles of brown. Water began to pelt at her harder, soaking through her unfortunately too thin blouse and beginning to freeze her thinned body.  
She heard another set of footsteps towards her direction, but they were quicker and heavier than the ones heard before. The vibration went straight to her head and began to aid the forming migraine. They seemed to have a sense of purpose to them, an actual destination to go to. A drive. She kept her eyes shut and waited for them to pass but they only drew nearer. The waves were beginning to overpower her; she could feel herself going under.

  
“My god,”

  
       The voice made things several times worse. Her entire body coiled back in agony, going up her spine in a relentless flame until it shot up to her temples. She gasped, splats of oranges and reds filling her vision and feeling herself go hazy. It rung inside her ears and she could feel them begin to heat up too, shutting her eyes and swallowing her own sick repeatedly.

  
“What the hell did they do to you?”

  
        She wasn’t able to even make the attempt to speak. Foreign fingers brushed the back of her neck and she immediately felt another throb of burning passion surge through herself. A smell of burning carnage suddenly filled her nose, followed by purples and browns blotting her eyesight much more. She wanted to cry out, to writhe, but her body was at the point of exhaustion where only hot tears would suffice for her suffering. Another set of fingers clung around where the back of her knees was, the pain now subsiding to a low but biting throb. She felt herself being lifted off the ground and her face being pressed into thick fabrics.

  
“You just have to trust me, alright?”

  
        The voice was sickening to her, and she didn’t have any idea why. Just hearing it made her feel every negative emotion possible to climb up her throat and want to vomit out her mouth. It made her head scream and her body want to reject anything having to do with it. It made her senses feel things she didn’t want to feel and made her think things she didn’t want to think. And at the same time, it was all too familiar for her not to hear it again. _Always in the way_. These were her last thoughts before the exhaustion and the comfort of the leather dragged her under the waves.

 

* * *

 

“Is blacking out in the streets some sort of pastime to you?”

  
      She focused on her knees when he spoke, counting the number of bug bites and trying to give a name to the different shades and colors of her bruises. The back of her head thought about the number of ways to prepare various dishes, and she recited the lyrics to her favorite song too, anything to not have to focus completely on his voice. He carried a very mocking, almost scornful tone that made her want to curl up completely. It was both sneering and yet intriguing at the same time. The headache it came with was beyond horrid.

  
“I must’ve pushed myself beyond my limit, I guess didn’t realize how tired I was.”

  
       The feeling of humiliation crept up to her cheeks and she lowered her gaze even more. She recognized pity all too well and could see it even without directly looking at it. She wanted to do nothing more than be out of the I-weep-for-you gaze and get back to her own place. She stood up and gave a small bow to him, her voice quiet and meek.

  
“I’m sorry for all the trouble, sir. I’ll try to be more aware of my surroundings next time. If you don’t mind, I’ll get going immediately and be ou--.”  
“I don’t want you going back out there”

  
      For the first time, she met eyes with him.  
      It was difficult to hide the gasp that slipped through her lips. In fact, It was hard to hide any sort of reaction when staring at works of complete brilliance. His eyes carried a smoldering light to them that could only be explained as lustrous, deep vermillions with flecks of terracotta and copper bending in the light, almost burning through anything his hard, calculating stare met. His hair, amazingly, was color-coded with it in a warm tangerine hue.  
      As she stared, she felt another match being lit inside her chest. The flame spread along her entire body and hues of reds and oranges began to spot her vision again. His voice began to bounce around in her ears. What’s the matter with me? She quickly turned away and muted the feeling.  
“Come again?” she managed.

  
     He held his stare on her, his eyes carrying a dejected glow to them, resembling a dying flame. “I really-I can’t let you go out there again.” he let out a long huff of breath, rubbing his eyes tenderly. “I mean, just look at yourself. I would be a pretty shitty person if I did.”  
She didn’t need to. No mirror could communicate better than the judging eyes of others that she looked pathetic and unruly. If the torn clothes didn’t tell her, the dirt did. If the didn’t dirt didn’t tell her, the bruises did. And if that didn’t tell her, the thoughts that kept her awake made sure to do the job.

  
“Thank you for your concern sir, but I’m sure I could I can find a place to sleep for the night.”

  
_That was a lie._

  
“If you were able to, I don’t think you’d be wondering the streets in the first place.”

  
_He knew it was a lie_.

  
    Tohru felt the more the conversation pressed on, the more confused she became with the boy standing in front of her. She didn’t have a single idea who he was, and yet he was persistent on her staying with him. She couldn’t get near him without feeling her entire body have a sharp pain go right through it or her senses getting mixed up. His looks were peculiar, and his voice made her feel an array of emotions she wasn’t sure she wanted to feel.

  
“Who are you?” she blurted harshly.

  
       His breathing froze, his breath catching in his lungs. His mouth parted open for nearly a second as if he was about to say something but the words couldn’t make it all the way to his lips. Without warning, he took a step forward and his hand reached towards her. The heat of pain begins to crawl up her arms as he moved and in response she shot herself the opposite direction, drawing her own hands to her chest.  
The silence in the room was deafening.  
His hand lowered. His eyes lowered as well.

  
“What the hell am I doing?” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Go sleep wherever you want to, doesn’t matter to me. Just don’t be passing out in the middle of the street anymore.” his voice carried defeat in it, making Tohru’s heart begin to twinge. He turned on his heel, beginning to walk to the hallway.  
_“You just have to trust me, alright?”_  
**_Go after him._**

  
“Wait!” she burst. He stopped but did not look at her. Her mind became static when she tried to think of something to add on. She forced her brain to form any sort of string of words that could keep his attention and spilled it out of her mouth.“I’m.., I’m not too sure of.., well, I don’t know ..your name.”  
She waited, and finally heard something of a snicker come out of him.  
“Sleep here, and maybe you’ll find out tomorrow.”

She found the next day that he went by Kyo.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tohru finally gets to talk to her savior and Kyo gets a visit from the last person he needed.

               Rain was unforgiving sometimes.

        It sounded throughout the entire apartment, pelting against every window as the thunder rolled through and let out its occasional roar. Kyo watched the glass panes and globs of water ran down and blurred the scenery until they were just their own individual splotches. Flashes of lightning across the grey skies illuminated bits of the furniture and cast shadows along the walls. He let out a long draw of breath, resting his head against the arm of his couch and closing his lids.

_“Who are you?”_

       The look in her eyes seemed to almost burn in his chest, the unforgiving and violated stare that was paired with the absent glow that once filled her face gave him a cutting ache in places he didn’t want to explore. She was cowering at him in fear, displaying such panicked body language he couldn’t help but feel sick at his own self. Every movement near her seemed to make her body want to repel him, every look he gave she only returned with pain. She was only a sickly shadow of the woman he once knew her to be, starved and nerveless of everything that made contact with her.

        He had seen that look before towards him, and it was on a night he rather forget.

       At the same time, however, it was _her._ Through the caked mud and soaked clothes that hung way too loosely around her thin and gaunt figure, it was still her. The remembrance, flashes of both faint and fresh memories filled his chest and swallowed his head, his legs suddenly moving on his own. He had only seen just a glimpse of her latte colored hair and amateurishly cut bangs and that was enough for him to go into a full running sprint towards her, knowing too well it could have been anybody. Knowing too well that bringing her back into his life would only bring more agony and unjustifiable chaos towards her and himself, his own selfishness brought him to carry her an entire three miles into his own house.

        He took a deep drink of his tea, letting the heat fill his throat and bring his thoughts to a quiet buzz. He swallowed, releasing out a low breath and cooling down his mouth, he decided to recollect himself.

       She was in the worst condition he had seen her, let alone anybody in his life, in. Skin grazed completely in spots of purples and blues, taking up so much of what little space she had on her body. Her cheeks, caked with dried mud, were beginning to look sullen and were taut against her cheekbones. When he held her he could easily feel how each breath of her own was a struggle, shudders riveting down her body and her lips faltering incoherent mumbles.

      This was definitely a bad idea. No. this a _shit_ idea. He was bringing someone who he had such a tangled past with him that ended in such utter destruction back in his life for round two when she didn’t deserve an ounce of it. Truly this had to be one of the most selfish things he had done and right now the most terrifying part was, he didn't feel any guilt for it.

_You could at least thought ahead of what you’re going after you took her in, moron. Someone might catch you and put you back at square one!_

     But what about her? She had been battered and beaten all along her body when he found her, barely able to keep herself awake and couldn’t have weighed more than 90 pounds, all on his account. They had ensured she would be miserable and abused beyond repair and it was too keep him and what little of a life he made safe. Square one for him was 6 feet deep for her.

     He reached for his cup again absentmindedly and knocked it onto his lap by mistake, the tea he had prepared earlier immediately soaking into his clothes and giving an intense sting that ran down his leg and spread across jeans. He hissed a curse under his breath and quickly shot up to avoid sitting in a puddle of his spilled beverage.

“Fucking shit, I just got these new.” he huffed a breath of frustration while frantically wiping off the dribbles of water collecting onto the fabric, but it was too late. The grey shirt and dark slacks he was wearing had now both started to take a dark and muddy hue. He was at least thankful however he had given the drink time to cool beforehand.

“How the hell am I going to get this stain out?”

“Baking soda.” a blurt sounded.

      He swiveled, meeting the eyes that peeked past the hallway door timidly. He caught her stare and it almost interrupted his own breathing. Looking at her cleaned up for the first time again threw him back farther than he was ready for. Her flushed cheeks gave that rosy hue that complemented her milk skin so well, almost giving way to the faint freckles that were peppered along her nose and along her brows. Her lips had gone from just shy of purple and chapped to the point of nearly bleeding, to a dusted rose that came to a tender pout. He could feel his chest tighten just the slightest.

“I-I’m sorry for eavesdropping, I didn’t intend to spy on you or anything like that. I just wasn’t sure if should have announced myself or not.” she played with the hem of the still dirty blouse she wore, “Uhm, but if it helps you could get that stain out easily with just baking soda.”

      Kyo looked on at her, drinking in her being as memories began to bubble around his mind. He was silently grateful that not all traces of Tohru were completely gone, she still had the overly compensating innocence that made up the majority of her personality. She was still whole in some places.

 

“Just say something next time, you weirdo.” she reddened even more in the face. He bit a smile back.

“Ah, good morning by the way. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble that I slept in your bed for the night.” The irony of that sentence was too good coming from Tohru. If it had been in any other situation that sentence would have given him a little bit of excitement being the boy he was, but now the moment was soiled with reality and was just all around depressing.

“It’s not a super big deal to me.”

“I can make breakfast if you’d like, to make up for causing trouble.”

“I’ve already made something to eat, don’t stress it.” he opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a platter with four onigiris sitting neatly in a row, setting it on his table. He took notice on how Tohru eyed the plate with more fervor than he remembered, her eyes seeming to almost stare through the food. He heard a low growl and watched her slim fingers slowly crawl up to her stomach.

_She’s literally starving to death._

_What a sickening realization_.

“Help yourself.” he prompted.

      She obeyed without protest. The bite she took into the ball of rice was so large it was almost comical and completely caught him off guard, shoving nearly half of it into her mouth and letting her eyes flutter close and enjoy the flavors. She seemed to have lost all consciousness of surroundings and he curiously studied her range of emotions while eating her food. Watching her slowly chew with her cheeks engorged and clearly enjoying herself made him hold back another grin that crept up his face.

⭑⭑

* * *

 

       Tohru shifted herself against the mattress once more, burying her head deeper in the pillow and shutting her eyes as tightly as possible. The storming weather outside pelted against the window pane and drowned the otherwise silent bedroom. Claps of thunder roared out at different intervals throughout the minutes and each time it made her jump, flinching at the sudden gasps of light that burned through the glass.

       Winter weather was not something new to her and she was used to the storms that rolled through near the late nights. After all, she had endured worse weathers than this and had grown accustomed to the harsh freezing rain. It wasn’t the lightning that kept her on edge at all. It was her sudden change in situations and the anxiety that was riddling her body as she laid in Kyo’s bed. She had insisted on taking the couch beforehand, seeing it as already a luxury to be staying in the hospitality of someone else. He persisted though and tuned her out.

_I was so weak back there. I can’t believe I let myself be convinced into staying with a strange man so easily, especially someone so…_

       She was at a lost of words when trying to finish that phrase. Frankly speaking, she had never encountered someone like that man. His very presence was rejected by her entire body, his entity being much of heat and flame. She could only make him out in her mind as just a fever ready to take over her, to take her down and make her tumble with just a flicker of glare. He carried himself as someone who was ready to boil over at any time, ready to spill out and scald everything around him.

 _He was just, someone so Red_.

        At the same time, his burning red eyes made her melt in other ways. She took one good look at his citrus hair and dark eyes her shivering body had been warmed to the core in less than a second. It was shameful to admit even to herself, but he was such a gorgeous man. Orange had never been one of her favorite colors, but the way he wore it on his features caused her many different kinds of heat. She couldn’t play dumb with herself, he was an incredibly handsome man.

       She took another deep huff of the pillow her head laid on and took in the scents of clean linen and citruses. She picked up on his own musk as well, some cologne that had cedarwood and a certain spice to it. It was a delicious smell to her, enticing her to envelope herself in the smell as it wafted into her senses. It was almost familiar, like something she had smelled many times before in adolescence, but her brain was too exhausted to comb through memories. _I don’t know what to do about him, Mom. He saved me from the streets and gave me his bed to sleep in, I’m really grateful but I’m not ready to trust him completely. I don’t want to be hurt again, I don’t think I can take it._

       Another wave of thunder boomed over the apartment complex. She curled herself even tighter together and huddled her legs up to her torso, pulling the sheets to conform to the shape of her body and swaddle her. It made her feel almost guilty how much she enjoyed the feeling of cotton burying her skin and warming her up from the inside. Another whiff of the scents of the linens for her own pleasure and that wash of recollection hit her again. She could almost put her finger on the scent. Was it…?

⭑⭑

* * *

 

“Cod?” This was the first word that broke the almost uncomfortable silence between them.

       She had eaten two other rice balls on her own accord while he had watched in silence. He was taking every moment he could to fathom her presence and enjoy their once routine of eating together.

“You like cod in your onigiri, Kyo-sama?” He swallowed before answering half-heartedly.

“It’s the only thing that really belongs in them. Umeboshi is way too sweet to enjoy at all.”

“Ah, are you not a fan of sweet things?” He looked at her once more. Her face when she was interested in what people had to say used to be one of his favorites. Her eyes are the most animated part of her face and would shine with such curiosity and concern. Her lips would fall slightly apart and into a small pout and she still had the habit of barely cocking her head to the left.

_I’m a fan of one._

_Holy fuck that was lame._

“No, it gives me headaches whenever I eat anything sweet. I’m not really used to eating sugar so I never grew to like it. It’s really not that complicated.”

      Another graceless silence fell between them, and he took another bite of his food quickly. Tohru’s head fell to look at her lap, completely finished with her own meal and seeming to have uneasiness weighing her. She rubbed the ends of her thumbs together with knitted brows tensed on her face. The rain had finally stopped for the day so it was just the ticking of the clock that took control of the noise in the air.

“Kyo-sama, I’m very grateful for this..,” her voice had an uncertain edge to it, the pitch higher than usual. “But it’s really not right for me to intrude on your life like this. It’s a burden to be in your own space. I feel it’s only right for me to be on my way.” She had zero confidence in the words she spoke and it was written all over her face that she didn’t want to be speaking those them.

      The clink of him getting finally getting up from the table and walking over to her made her eyes follow him. She had to avoid his gaze, feeling that zap of electricity ignite in her as his presence closened up. _There’s that heat again, Mom._

 _Every time he gets near, I can feel it. It’s not as painful as before but…_ , He was standing in front of her, but she still refused to raise her head. He took action and swiftly dropped down to her level, grabbing her wrist and catching her off guard. A squeak of surprise escaped her breath as she was pulled slightly towards his body. The fire inside her began to spread from her wrists down her arms, feeling like tiny pins dancing along her skin.

“The only burden I would feel is letting you go off on your own.” his voice had a razor sharp edge to them, carrying no sense of tenderness. Even so, she could feel herself squirm a little bit under his hold. “Only an idiot like yourself would have it in your right mind to go out there. I found you half dead already if I had to come back and see you--,”

      His own words froze up on him. They were now sharing a gaze into each other’s eyes, his lips becoming dry as she stared at him with perplexion. He suddenly became increasingly aware of how hot her breath felt and how close the space they shared was. He swallowed, loosening his grip on her and hearing a huff of solace leave her body.

“Just, stay here. Please. I’m not going to ask you again, dummy.”

      His inflection rung in her ears. The course, irritated tongue he always carried had finally been replaced with a much more somber one. She could hear through his harsh tone the sound of desperation in himself. She felt a twinge of guilt fill her chest when looking at his features, solemn and almost begging. Tohru finally understood: He really was worried about her.

“Alright..,” she finally agreed. “I don’t know Kyo-sama very well but--.”

“It’s just Kyo. No reason to be so formal.”

She looked on at him, and then a warm smile formed onto her face. She let out a fit of giggles and flashed a delighted grin towards him.

“Thank you for being so kind, Kyo!”

      He stared on, seeing for the first time the smile that he had grown accustomed to revealing itself from the mask of starvation and mistreatment. The one smile that had made him so completely weak to her presence in the first place. He looked back and replied with a half-hearted grunt before turning on his heels. “Don’t mention it.”

     A knock rapped at the door that caught both their attention. Tohru got up to her feet and reached out.

“I can get that for--.”

“No.” he snapped.

      She turned back at him. His carried a stone cold look to his face, his eyes that were hue’s of warm tangerines and salmon had now turned completely crimson. He was glowering hatefully at the doorway and she could feel his body completely tense.

“Go inside my room.” The order he barked completely threw her off. One minute he was showing her a more tender side of him that she had warmed up to, but there was another side she was seeing. She hesitated, trying to stammer a reply but the complete shift in his demeanor seemed to overpower her. Silently, she gave a faint nod towards him before disappearing down the hall. He waited until he heard the click of the door closing before taking a shallow to breathe and finally unlocking the door. Swinging it open, the face on the other side did the opposite of surprise him.

“Just what the fuck do you want?” he snarled through clenched teeth, gripping the knob tightly.

“Relax already, I haven’t come here to scold you.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” he barked.

The person shoved themselves through the doorway past Kyo’s block and made their way into the apartment. Kyo watched as he let himself in and let out a low growl towards him.

“I was originally here to remind you that the Sohma’s are having a meeting tomorrow night at the Main House and much to my chagrin, that includes you as well,” he sat himself down into the armchair, placing his hands tightly on the armrests. He shot a glare towards Kyo’s way, “But instead I overheard you having guest over and decided to take a look while you were having breakfast.”

       Kyo’s fists stiffened, shooting the look right back towards him. He felt his skin crawl with resentment and tried to suppress his temper.

“Tell me, stupid cat. What is Honda-san doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little bit longer than the last and I'm hoping to keep this length the norm. Anyways though, I hope you guys are liking it so far. I know there's a lot of mystery in this story and things seem blurry but it'll be cleared up in future chapters. 
> 
> I'm also hoping to keep a consistent update schedule of every two weeks. Seems like a long time, but I like putting out good chapters and I also balance work and school :( 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki's timing is less than convenient and because of it, Tohru wants answers.

Tohru didn’t want to eavesdrop.

That’s one thing she knew was a shameful habit to have. Listening in on other people’s conversations without permission was never justifiable even if you really wanted to know what they were saying. There are much more honest and nicer ways to get information from people and trying to spy on them was always, always wrong! But it seems like recently, she couldn’t help herself.

First, it was on Kyo this morning while watching him from afar. She didn’t know how to approach him with her morning greeting, he had looked so in thought and studious while drinking his tea and instead had blurted out her thought and making her already seem like a ‘weirdo’. That itself made her already self-conscious about her place in his house and how she would be around him.

And now she was purposely listening in on this conversation happening in front of her through the thin door of his room. It wasn’t that hard to hear them exactly, or at least Kyo. His volume and voice were well into earshot with how much he shouted. It was the mystery person behind the wall that intrigued Tohru. The sudden change in Kyo’s attitude had immediately tipped her off that the person on the other side of the door was someone he already knew, and obviously didn’t care much for. She had felt those dancing needles slowly poke at her fingers and could see the flame in his eyes ignite. There were a million possibilities that could have explained things and all of them were dancing in her head.

_“...But instead, I overheard you having guest over and decided to take a look while you were having breakfast.”_

The new voice that had entered the scene was such an alarming distinction from Kyo’s. Smooth like honey and harmonic like a lullaby, the mysterious speech was almost quiet enough that listening in through the thin walls wasn’t enough to even pick it up. It had nearly a feminine ring to it and made Tohru’s heart skip a beat. She really couldn’t help but be drawn to it. She pressed herself up closer to the surface, nibbling at her lip as they both spoke.

“Tell me stupid cat, what is Honda-san doing here?”

The phrase shot through her chest like a bullet, catching her completely off guard. She nearly leaped back in surprise and tumbled backward onto the ground, but was able to cushion the fall with her hands and spared herself from making a ton of noise. The slap of her palms hitting the floorboards was enough to make them creak throughout the house, loud enough for anyone to hear. Her leg spasmed in protest and she nearly bit her cheek from holding back a cry of pain. While laying on the hardwood, she stopped and listened carefully to make sure that neither of the two had heard her against the wall, and thankfully, both had returned to their conversation.

_He… he knows me?_ _The person in the other room knows who I am?_

Her cheeks felt heated and she clasped her palms over them, trying her best to calm her head as more emotions began to swirl. And he’s already upset at me!

“B-But I don’t really know any other boys! Or maybe it is a girl?” she whispered to herself, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging herself tightly. “I’m sure if I met someone with such a pretty voice, I would remember. Do they know me from high school maybe? Maybe I did something that made them upset? Should I maybe--.”

She continued to spiral into her personal panic when a large slam shook the entirety of the house. For an entire second, she flinched down into a tight ball and hugged herself again until she heard Kyo’s voice roar from outside the door.

“What happened to not scolding me, huh!” he shrieked. His voice was filled with rage and hostility like nothing she had heard before out of him.

Tohru timidly made her way over to the wall again, keeping on all fours as more and more commotion sounded from outside. She reached for the doorknob, desperate for just a peek at the disturbances that were taking place, but another bang rattled out and she immediately jerked her hand away. _I feel like if I even look outside, I’ll get an eye taken out! Maybe it is better to listen from afar…_ She silently shamed herself again for spying as her ear was once again pressed against the door, listening sharply to the conversation.

The crashes slowly died down and the speaking resumed. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to accomplish pulling a stunt like this.” she heard the voice warned, seeming to have an edge to itself as well. “You’ve really astounded me with your stupidity this time, Kyo. What’s going to happen when Aki-.”

Another slam against the wall that shook the apartment, then there was then silence. Tohru pressed herself closer, hoping that maybe it would pick back up but there continued to be a stillness in the air. She finally let herself release a breath of defeat, clearing out the air that she didn’t know she was holding.

“We’re taking this outside.” she heard Kyo finally announce. She waited, hearing the other door creak open and then let out a full slam.

She waited some more for the air to settle before relaxing. Getting up from the floor, she dusted off her skirt and sighed once again. “This morning gets more and more confusing, Mom.” she huffed out. “First I get taken in by a stranger--I mean Kyo-kun, and now I’m already in trouble with this other mystery person who.-.”

A realization cut her own thoughts. She thought back to the only few phrases she was able to pick up from the other voice.

“Did they just call him a cat?”

⭑⭑

The rain had finally stopped pouring around the city, but pregnant clouds of greys and silvers still loomed overhead. Birds had begun to sing through the leaves of the trees and were accompanied by the low whistle of the wind. They stepped out and closed the patio door behind them, Kyo slamming it to make note of how irritated he already was. He shot his cousin an expression of disgust, glaring daggers at him. Yuki crossed his arm and narrowed his eyes judgingly, ignoring his stare.

“She’s in the other room, y’know. So don’t go around saying whatever the hell you want. She’s confused enough already.” Kyo snarled out.

Yuki returned the scowl readily, his eyes filled with malice as he clicked his tongue. “So, what’s your big plan now, idiot? Force her to go through everything again once they find her sitting in your bedroom? Make her pay for your stupidity twice?” his voice was almost at a hiss, and Kyo could feel a different type of contempt radiating off of him. This was different than their normal, rehearsed banter that they both had established in the past. He wasn’t just annoyed with Kyo as he usually expected. No, he was absolutely furious.

“You have absolutely no right to make her stay in hiding just to fill your own personal fantasies of being a hero. Really, have you ever thought about anyone else but your own self? Did you ever maybe stop and ask if this is in the best interest of someone else besides your own pathetic being? Did you even consider thinking about this at all, period?” he cocked his head at him, his eyes turning into nothing but slits.

“So I ask again, what exactly are you trying to accomplish?”

Kyo released a low growl that emitted from his throat. He gritted his teeth, Yuki’s words pounding in his ears and beginning to stew inside his subconscious. As expected from the rat, he knew exactly how to crawl right under his skin and manipulate his emotions at his every whim. He was conniving, narrow-minded and spoiled like the pesky, diseased rodent he was. Every time he spoke he could feel his cat spirit and himself recoil in revulsion, wanting to claw at face more than anything else in the entire world.

For the past 6 months, Kyo’s relationship with Yuki had begun to deteriorate worst than ever before. They had gone from their comfortable rivalry of sparring once in a while and shooting empty threats back and forth to regressing back into not even wanting to share the same house anymore. Every moment they had to be in the same room made Kyo more irrationally hostile than the next. Every time his name was mentioned the agitation course throughout his body, wanting to release the stress of anger on anything nearby. Looking at his face as it is was hard enough, having to relive the last few moments of their somewhat tame relationship before..,

He grimaced.

Before she had to leave.

He remembered Tohru again. The sight she was, closing in on the brink of death and barely managing breaths. How she had been dragged through hell and back and was left to be nothing but a skeleton. How she still felt like a bother when offered a home, just like before. When he selfishly imposed himself onto her, she still decided she wanted to be kind and caring to him. She didn’t deserve what was happening. None of it.

“So that’s just it? We’re going to leave her to die and go on with the rest of our lives, huh?” he muttered. He didn’t wait for a reply before he snagged the hem of Yuki’s collar and wrung it close, twisting the fabric in the tight clasp of his hands as he glowered ferociously at him. “Does four years of living in the same house as her mean absolutely nothing to you? You just going to throw it all out the goddamn window and listen to everything Akito says, right?”

Yuki raised his head in defiance but did not reply.

“You didn’t have to see how bad of shape she was in, alright? You didn’t have to carry her back because she couldn’t stand on her own two fucking feet. I didn’t even transform either. She’s so damn skinny right now I was able to carry her and still have space left over.” He noticed immediately the breach in Yuki’s stone look. His sharp stare has lessened as his eyes began to widen with realization. His face dropped and began to sullen, concern creeping up onto his face. “I watched her shiver and shake like a sick puppy. Don’t call me selfish when you’re the asshole who’s only looking out for himself!”

His shout was enough to alarm the birds nested in the nearby branches of the tree, and they fluttered instantly in a fright. The flap of wings taking flight into the sky and twigs and leaves being torn through made way into the air before completely abandoning the scene, leaving wind and chimes to carry on. They both held their stares, Kyo’s filled with seething resentment and Yuki now carrying a look of distress. The silence between them spoke volumes, both having said their piece. Casually, he allowed himself to be released from the stare-off and shut his eyes, surrendering out a listless sigh and running a shaky hand through his silver hair.

“So what are you saying, cat? Before her memories were erased, we told her grandfather she’d be moving back with them. How does she not have a home?” The suffocating air between the two had finally subsided. Kyo huffed out a breath himself, feeling the tension he held before decrease significantly. He was secretly glad, not having much more energy to carry his anger towards anyone, even Yuki. Too much had happened in the last few hours and he hasn’t had the chance to even try and relax.

“I don’t know what happened either. I don’t know how much she remembers and I feel kinda weird asking. All I know for right now definitely doesn’t have a place to stay and…,” he swallowed, remembering the bruises going up her leg and down her arms coming back to memory. The dirt and blood that was steeped into her blouse and skirt. Seeing her lying there in the street’s, unconscious and whilst suffering in silence immediately sent him back to the fateful night that he wished to forget.

_I Won’t Forgive You._

“She’s hurt really bad.” Yuki gave another sigh, covering his chin in thought and eyes glassy. Kyo was still amazed at the sudden switch in his emotions once Tohru was mentioned, the rage that was directed towards him suddenly dissipated.

“And what about you? How much did you tell her about us? How much does she already know?”

Kyo shot him a scowl. “She doesn’t know anything, alright? Not until you showed up and had to start blabbing off.”

“I wasn’t blabbing, perhaps if you let me talk to her directly instead of shoving her into your room, things wouldn’t be so confusing.” It was subtle, but he was able to pick up the insinuation in Yuki’s voice. It was Kyo’s turn to narrow his eyes.

_Look who’s being selfish now._

“Like I said before, she’s been through enough. Just let her rest for the day before we try anything else.”

Yuki held himself silent, studying Kyo’s expression before sighing again in a loss.

The luck of having clear weather had finally worn thin, claps of thunder beginning to roll through the air as the wind picked up slightly. Kyo could feel his spirits being drained by the second, both the weather and the current conversation weighing him down.

“Fine...fine. But tomorrow, I want to have a long talk to her, to make sure she’s okay. And you’ll have no part of it this time.” Kyo clicked his tongue in annoyance, rolling his eyes but not responding. The rain had now come in at a downpour, saturating the ground and filling the air, and he couldn’t wait to get inside. He opened the door and much to both their surprise, Tohru was standing there.

“Um, sorry for eavesdropping.” she stumbled, twisting the hem of her shirt into knots. “But I’d like to know what exactly is going on and how you both know me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how much I love the new Fruits Basket anime and how it exceeded literally every expectation I had? If you haven't gone to watch it yet, DO IT!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As more of the pieces are being put together, everyone's realizing there's more to the puzzle than thought. Tohru has a chance to reflect on both good and bad things.
> 
> TW: a brief description of assault, nothing graphic or detailed.

“Um, sorry for eavesdropping.” she stumbled, twisting the hem of her shirt into knots. “But I’d like to know what exactly is going on and how you both know me.”

Kyo froze, swallowing down a sudden lump in his throat as they locked eyes. He hadn’t prepared himself properly to answer this question. He was planning it, honest to god he was, but she had busted him way sooner than he had anticipated.

_Am I really that obvious?_

He was able to see the unsettling confusion in her face as she shrunk herself at his presence. His mouth went dry, opening to reply but only silent stutters coming out.

“I know it wasn’t any of my business, but I couldn’t help it. I feel as though there’s more going on that I’m being lead to believe and... I’d really like to know.”

_Shit Shit Shit._

_She knows!_  He felt himself going into a crashing panic, still trying to force a response, any response, back at her without completely wrecking everything. The back of his mind was telling him to default into his usual defense of being as brazen and loud as he usually was. He wanted to lie, to tell her that it _was_ none of her business and buzz off. But the innocent, helpless look she carried on her face was tearing him down already. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

 _I knew I shouldn’t have let that stupid rodent in. Now we’ve gotten into another mess!_  She stared on, watching him falter and fumble whilst remaining polite and silent as always.

“Well, uh-..you see--,”

 

“Honda-san, right?” a voice interrupted.

Kyo’s head swiveled, seeing Yuki stepping forward with his signature blank smile on his face, an arm reached out as if he was asking her to dance. Both him and Tohru were suspended in time as he was boldly making his way.  Full of composure and poise, he walked towards her and delicately took Tohru’s hand into his, leaning over and landing a light kiss on her fingers.

He could see her freeze, being struck in her usual daze as she looked at her hand being caressed, eyes glittering at bewilderment. The air between them was suffocating as Yuki raised his head slightly to meet her gaze, casting a nonchalant wink before pulling away. He felt his entire head fighting himself on admitting how much watching their interaction made his blood pressure rise. Kyo stiffened, nearly biting his cheek in an attempt to keep from blurting out.

_Rat Bastard._

“A-am, yes, I’m Tohru Honda.” she managed, still side-swept by Yuki’s cool demeanor and sudden affection. Her voice was at a small squeak, ears beginning to turn just as pink like her cheeks. “But I’m sorry,  I don’t think I remember us meeting before.”

_What is he doing? He’s going to ruin everything!_

Yuki let out a light, flippant chuckle, moving a strand of hair away from his cheek. “Forgive me, and let me introduce myself.”

 

⭑⭑

* * *

  


One of Tohru’s favorite past-times, when she couldn’t bring herself to be happy, was to remember what it was like growing up with her mom.

She thought about the late summer nights where they would both sit on the balcony of the one-bedroom apartment they owned, Kyoko’s arms enveloping her’s and giving her a tight squeeze every once in a while as they both star-gazed and talked. The cicadas would sing quietly and the smell of smoke would float around the deck. When they talked, no subject was off the table. Their entire relationship was built on the openness they had formed with each other and those late night pouring their hearts out about their worries, hopes, and memories. There was a night where Tohru had came to her asking for advice. She had met a new classmate, Saki Hanajima, and was a little bit disheartened that Hanajima had rejected her invites to become closer and brushed her off instead. Tohru knew that she was a wonderful person at heart and was growing more anxious to try and make the connection happen.

She remembers the long drag of the cigarette wafting into the open air. The cool wind playing through the chimes as Kyoko’s hair flitted about, freshly cut into a bob that would soon become her signature look.

“It sounds like you really think she should be in your life, hm?”

She really did. It was silly because Hanajima avoided her more than anything in the beginning, but Tohru knew she was a person that she wanted to have by her side. 

“Then she’ll be there soon.”

She remembered the smile, the ever so familiar smile she gave her when turning, hands deep in pockets and eyes soft.

“If people are meant to be in your life, they’ll make their way there. Their destiny might take longer than others, and their arrival can be unexpected, but Tohru, trust the process. They’ll find their way, they’ll find you, just keep your arms wide open when they do.”

It stuck with her like glue, and she did exactly that.

She didn’t want to think of her mom right now,  but her words were seeming to swim in her head as the two men in front of her looked on.

 

“So, you both were my classmates?”

 

They were at the table again, and she couldn’t help but feel as though it was really an interrogation room. Both men sat across from her, granted, several inches apart to where she almost wanted to ask, but still, both glued on her.

“It’s completely fine if you don’t remember us, we were in different units. I just wanted to check and make sure it was really you.”

She was told his name was Sohma Yuki, and he was supposedly the distant cousin of Sohma Kyo. Even though he radiated a kindness to him that made her feel relaxed, Tohru couldn’t help but avoid eye contact whenever talking to him. There was never a face that matched a voice more perfectly than his, the delicacy and beauty are compared to that of a prince. Much like Kyo, his features were extremely out of the ordinary such as silver hair or pale eyes, but nonetheless, they worked together magnificently to create his traits. His looks were encaptivating, from his strikingly light eyes to the natural simper that was worn on his cream skin, he was almost too strikingly gorgeous for Tohru. Not to mention, the way he had laid the kiss onto her hand was still reeling in her head, so charming and smooth.

_Like a Prince almost...,_

_Prince Yuki._

She felt that familiar pain she felt with Kyo crawl up her spine, this time blasting her with an icy chill. Her blood nearly froze at the sensation crawling its way up her neck and nearly tickling her ears. She straightened, buttoning her lips to keep herself from blurting out a squeak as it shot itself through her body. Just as fast as that chill came, it dissolved immediately and melted into the air.

 _What?_ _Him too?_

She shook it off. Perhaps she truly was losing her head right now.

“Ah.., so Kyo-Kun must not be a stranger either?”

Yuki let out a flippant laugh, his smiling being as dazzling as ever. Tohru felt a little bit confused at his amusement but was to side-swept by the glow to him that it almost didn't even matter.

“Hardly. Though he may act like a lecher, he’s too much of a simpleton to plan anything devious.”

She heard a rough bang from the table, swiveling to see Kyo glaring daggers at him through seething eyes and a clenched fist. His face ran completely scarlet, the tips of his ears nearly blending in with the rest of his tangerine hair.

“Don’t talk like that, okay! I’m not the one who needs to be all weird whenever you have to introduce yourself to someone!”

“It’s called having manners, I wouldn’t expect you to know how to even spell that.”

“You’re really full of it, aren’t you!”

She watched as they continued to bicker from across the table, Kyo losing his temper at every quip Yuki made and Yuki effectively dodging and deflecting every blow without blinking an eye. They're contrasting energies made it hard for Tohru to believe they were ever from the same family, even if it was just cousins. Kyo’s smoldering and heated appearance directly being burnt out by Yuki’s cold and icy glares.  Though they both seemed helpful and sweet on their own, the moment either of them had interaction they almost devolved into children. Tohru wondered if there could be bad blood between the two because of a recent incident.

“Ah.., Kyo-kun actually did a very nice thing for me, actually.” she intervened, “He let me sleep in his room for the night and fed me, I’m... very grateful.”

She didn’t think it was possible, but somehow Kyo’s cheeks heated up even more, turning his head away instantly and letting out another huff of disgruntlement. Her confusion only pressed on at his reaction.

“But Honda-san, I do have to wonder.” Yuki began, turning her attention towards him again. “Last I’ve seen you, I thought you were staying with your grandfather. But it looks like…”

His voice trailed off with the unfinished sentence, but Tohru understood completely what he meant. She felt that lump in her throat come up, firming her lips together to keep her facial expression from falling.

_Ah…. I’ve just met Sohma-kun and already he pities me. It must be pathetic for him to see where I’m at right now, having to ask his family for help._

_“_ Grandpa.., My grandpa” she started, feeling her voice wobble trying to keep steady. She was firm on not letting herself cry in front of these people, not after the first day of truly meeting them both. She had to salvage at least some dignity. “He passed on in November.., and I was told I could still live with the rest of the family but…,”

The memories were beginning to swarm back, faster than she wanted them too.

She remembered the unwelcomed aura that always surrounded the house. The awkward scuffling about around her, avoidance of conversation and all together suffocating atmosphere that shrouded the place. The only ever conversation engaged towards her was to remind her that she wasn’t wanted there.

When she was sitting on the couch.

_“Grandpa may have fought your battles before, but don’t think that doesn’t mean we won’t keep an eye on you while you’re still here.”_

Getting home from work.

_“Tell us before you take off this late. We can’t have you bringing home any men, okay Tohru?”_

Every time she made a mistake.

_“What did he see in you, anyway?”_

 

“I felt better getting out of their way.”

 

If life truly made it where people in your life are meant to be there, Tohru knew that it wasn’t her place to be apart of theirs. All the failed attempts, trying to convince herself that it would just take some adjusting to and she would eventually grow into her new family and learn to receive the same love that was conditioned by Kyoko. That maybe this was where she was meant to be. She was truly suffocating, suffocating herself pretending as though this is how things were supposed to be and that this so-called family was something that called her.

“That doesn’t mean you have to throw yourself out, yknow.”

She was dragged completely out of her reminiscences, pulling back into reality by Kyo’s angry tone. She looked up, his eyes searing again with that orange-lit rage, Yuki’s still calculating as he waited for Kyo’s next move.

“You should maybe try and think of consequences sometimes, alright? So what you didn’t want to bother them, it’s still better than forcing yourself to be homeless just because they didn’t like you. You’re important too.”

It was Tohru’s turn to become flustered, the words shooting directly into her chest. They had a familiar dance to them, both the sincerity and meaning. For some reason, she couldn’t help but feel that Kyo had told her this once before, or perhaps several times. The ring that it carried had made her weak. A warmth hit her nerves, this time comforting and almost making her want to cry all over again.

“Tha-thank you.,”

 

“Speaking of which, I couldn’t help but notice you’re hurt.” Yuki mediated, casting a glance at her leg. “Can I ask what happened?”

 

She followed him and remembered her bruised up thighs, the constellations of blues and greens that clouded her skin and almost fresh cuts that scraped alongside them instantly drained away that warmth. She was hoping to be able to move along from that night as if there was any forgetting it. As if her entire state and where she was wasn’t a constant reminder of that night. Nonetheless, she swallowed and began.

“Ah, well, it’s a long walk from my original tent to any of the corner stores for food and clothes so I took a detour..,” she began.

She could remember the freezing temperatures. How her skirt could barely keep any of the harsh and invading wind from chilling her down to a trembling mess. The chattering of teeth and chapped lips as she had made her way down the winding trails leading into the city. How she could feel her own stomach begging for any fuel as she hugged herself as an attempt to conserve body heat. The trees that swayed overhead almost whispering about themselves as she trudged along.

 

“I guess that was my biggest mistake, thinking things would be easier if I went through the woods.”

 

She finally felt concrete under her worn shoes, which brought a weak smile to her face. Whenever the dirt paths ever turned to cobblestone or concrete, that was a tale sign that you were close to the main road, which meant the cities were even closer nearby. She felt some sort of relief knowing she had bared the hardest part and was going to make it just fine.  She even felt pride in herself for being able to navigate the woods as well as she did and finally reaching some sort of civilization.

That short spout of joy was something she should have cherished.

She remembered the hand over her mouth, quickly tasting grime and filth as it completely covered her lips. Her feet gave in from under her, completely losing footing before landing into the body of somebody.    She tried to flail, any feeble attempt at freeing herself from the sudden capture, but she would quickly find that her arms had lost all secludedness as her hands were suddenly being tugged behind her back as well.

The panic kicked in, the sheer bursting of her heart welled up inside her until she finally let out her first scream of fright. It was ugly, the cries for help that followed as tears stung against her cheeks and ran down the fingers of this malicious monster. She heard laughs. Biting, taunting laughs that slithered around her ear and mocked her own cries in volumes. The body pressed himself up against her and she could instantly recognize his intentions that were laid out for her. She was caught in his trap, a spider’s web and her being nothing more than a foolishly meek fly.

She remembered her mother, because who wouldn’t in these moments? Her tall, surprisingly black and red- blotched figure that stood facing the world with a challenging smile. She remembered her stories, having to fight off much bigger threats and how each day in her life was a struggle to not get assaulted. Would she want Tohru’s demise to end up like this, succumbing so easily to such an evil act? Could she truly be recognized as her daughter if she didn’t defend herself with her life?

After all, what would Kyoko do?

 

“I had never been in a situation like that before, so I guess I panicked.”

 

She took the deepest gulp of breath that she could manage between the dirt-caked palms, before shutting her eyes tight and allowing her teeth to fasten themselves onto them.

There were swearing, god so much cursing and words that she never wished to hear herself. His gruff and ridiculing laughs feverishly turned into yells and threats as she deepened her bite, trying to convince herself that it would all be over soon.  Immediately she felt himself try and pull his hand but continuing to hold on tight, sinking herself even deeper until she finally felt a break of skin and a slow pool trickling along her chin and lips.

There was then a swipe to her head and her vision doubled.

Tohru kind of wished that she had waited a little bit for this to happen so she would be able to meet some softened piles of snows or slush or wet grass instead of the frozen concrete. The crack that sounded rung out, her body almost following second to it as she finally completely crumpled.

“Crazy bitch!” those were one of the few words that she could recall coming from him, his voice gruff and slurring constantly. Her mind was only a collection of dancing stars and spotty vision as she tried her best to regain composure before feeling another blow meet her upper thighs. She could see his worn boots, shrouded in mud as he fiercely kicked at her. She couldn’t react, for she was both simply too tired, cold and already destroyed all around to fight anymore. She only thing she could identify at this point was the taste of copper on her lip, unsure if the blood was his or hers.

“You got lucky tonight, got that!” was the last thing she heard, his barking voice ringing in her ears as she felt herself growing colder. She accepted things as they were, too worn out to try and get up once more. She could hear the footsteps coming, faster than she was used to. She gave a quick prayer that the man wasn't coming back for any more. The wind had seemed to cease altogether after that, and finally, the night took over all her perception.

 

⭑⭑

* * *

 

Shigure’s house never seemed to have the same energy to it, even after 4 years.

As he opened the door, he waited for some sort of greeting. For someone to welcome him back and give him a sense of belonging and validation. He wanted to hear those words of excitement come from her, as wafts of her cooking invited him into the kitchen where he would be met with her happy grin, smiling only for him. He wondered why those memories were coming back now, why he couldn’t stomach it down like usual and go up to his room to shut himself out from those thoughts until the next morning.

Yuki stepped in, throwing off his shoes and sliding the door behind him harder than he ever intended too. He couldn’t feel sorry though, the stubborn rage that pounded in his head was more than enough for him to not feel sorry for any sort of destruction he made his way. He needed to find a release fast.

“You’re home late.”

He hadn’t expected Shigure to be even awake at this hour, so he was a little bit caught off guard to find him sitting in his usual spot in the living room, flipping leisurely through a novel. With his eyeglasses on, it was a little harder than usual to read his expression, but he seemed to carry no surprise towards Yuki.

“And you’re up late.”

Shigure gave a laugh back.

“A writer knows no bedtime, you should know that by now.”

Yuki sighed and gave no reply. He was probably up late drinking, that was the easiest since he could make of it anyway. He always said nonsensical things whenever he had too much. He threw his stuff into the corner of the room before turning to head up the stairs.

“I’m going to bed now,” he said flatly

“Oh, Yuki~.”

He paused but did not turn back.

“If there’s something you need to talk about, you should,” Shigure turned slightly, the lighting in the room reflecting off his glasses and giving a glint to them. “If you keep things a secret, it could turn bad on you.”

His breath hitched, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he gulped down the anxiety sitting in his throat and continued up the flight.

Once he was finally in his bedroom, the weight of everything finally hit him and he collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion.  

He felt as though he had truly barely escaped some sort of simulation. It was easier to think that perhaps everything he had experienced was just a chance fever dream he was experiencing and Tohru Honda definitely was not back into his life once more.  That they had successfully moved her back into her grandfather’s home and was still living a happy life there at this very moment. But he couldn’t shake her gaunt, bruised body standing before him. Her empty eyes and pale skin as she viewed him as a total alien. As much as he was frustrated at Kyo for being so reckless taking her back in, he couldn’t blame him at all. When first seeing her again, all he wanted to do was pull her close and cry. To tell her how much he missed her at the house, how he wished things had ended up differently and he would take back everything to have her back into his life. He wanted to tell her things were going to be okay soon and that most of all,

  


He wanted to tell her he’s sorry.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I just finished my finals for the semester, so I'll have a lot more time to start working on this story than usually. I know I said I would have a sooner update, but school and work definitely got the better of me. I hope this longer chapter makes up for it, and I hope you guys are liking it so far! I know things may be getting more confusing, but I got it planned out. (I think, haha)
> 
> Anyways, yesterday's episode KILLED me. GAH the reboot is doing so much better than I expected! 
> 
> Have any criticism or comments! Please leave some below because that always gets me inspired!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo can't sleep. Yuki is going to look for answers.

Kyo couldn’t sleep. 

Was he even surprised at that? He would have been more surprised if he could sleep, what with everything that has happened in the short span of the past two nights. There were too many sentiments churning through his head right now, feelings of both anger and grief constantly battling each other to dominate his thoughts, feeling a short fit of passionate hatred course through his veins before being dampened by the empty pit in the stomach that sunk deeper every time he thought too much about it. 

It scared him a little bit, how much he thought about hurting someone. Everyone took him as a person quick to violence, but the truth was most of his energy went towards delivering empty threats and creating the illusion that he was intimidating and dangerous. The bitter truth was, he hated hurting people, especially people who didn’t fight back.  Sure, he and Yuki dealt blows a lot but that’s only because he knew that Yuki was someone who could take him on, and more specifically beat him anyways. he wouldn’t ever consider hurting someone who couldn’t defend themselves. That was cheap shit, and he couldn’t take pride in it at all. 

But there was no heavier feeling in his fists right now that having them break skin against the jaw of the fucker who tried to hurt Tohru. 

He took another deep breath, blowing it through his nostrils as he clenched his fingers together. Calm down, calm down now. He’s not here anymore, she’s safe with you, nothing can hurt either of you. 

He nearly threw his body around on the futon, grumbling as he tried to get more comfortable. As if he could ever be comfortable again. The blanket seemed sizes too small and the pillow way too soft for his comfort, he had no choice but to give up the fight on sleep. He sighed, throwing his weight around once more and situating himself so he was facing the ceiling. He set his arms behind his head as better support, and for a second he was back at Shigure’s house on top of the roof, a sea of stars before him instead of the popcorn ceiling. 

He couldn’t help but glance down the hallway to where his actual room was, and more importantly where Tohru was. He remembered how she eventually began to regularly visit him on the roof. Sometimes to talk to him when he was upset, sometimes to talk to him when she was upset, and sometimes to simply enjoy the cicadas together. 

As much as he wanted to see that man beaten to a pulp, the concern he had for her was, to his dismay, much bigger. Was she always this big of a deal to him? When they were living together, did he worry about her this much? He guessed that she’s never been in this situation, so it was only natural for him to start acting this way. Totally wasn’t weird. 

That pit was beginning to form again, thinking about how she was. There wasn’t any way she was happy right now, and she wasn’t getting any better at hiding it. Maybe before, she would be able to fool everyone else with the way she acted, but he could tell she was giving in. She wore her smile like a mask, carrying no actual joy or meaning to it. Her tired eyes gave it all away to him. 

 

He sighed and rolled over once more, before finally throwing the blanket off of him and sitting up. He needed to do something, anything to get this off his brain. He hadn’t properly slept since the night he took her in, and he could feel himself starting to combust from the exhaustion. He needed to address this or else it would drive him insane. 

With the blanket off, he didn’t realize how cold it was in the apartment. A small shiver inched up his back and he shuddered. Maybe the blanket isn’t that bad of an idea. He picked it up once more and wrapped it over his shoulders, tightening it around his arms and trying to absorb all the heat within it. He chuckled to himself. When was the last time he had done this? Maybe when he was 8?

Okay, just go knock on the door, and just be casual. It’s a simple question.  _ Hey, how’ve you been feeling lately, by the way? I know I should have asked that hours ago when it was more appropriate and you needed it, but I’m too much of a wuss to talk about feeling and your problems are actually messing with my sleep so I figured now was the best time.  _

Oh god, what was he  _ doing _ ? 

He shook his head and made his feet continue towards the door. No, now was not the time to start getting all reflective. He needed to do this now before it was too late, er, later than it already was. It was about her feelings right now, not his. Just a couple more steps towards the door, and just a simple knock. He raised his hand towards the door, ready. 

He quickly glanced down at his wristwatch to check the time. After all, it's not that weird to have this conversation at…

2: 42 AM. 

What? That can’t be right, is it? Since when the hell did time go that fast? Has he really been thinking about this whole mess for that long? 

He huffed. No, this would have to wait till the morning after. She was most likely fast asleep right now and waking her up just to clear his conscious would probably cause more issues for her than solve anything. What even was he getting worked up for? If anything, this was a blessing in disguise. How stupid would he have looked standing there, wrapped in a blanket, all to talk about feelings at almost 3 in the morning? 

“Ah.., Kyo-kun?” 

Even though her voice was as soft as feathers, kind and polite as always, it still startled him more than he would ever admit. He jolted back, tugging the blanket even closer and making him wear it almost as a shawl as he tried to gather his bearings. When looking up, he met her eyes that were peeking from behind the door, glassy with curiosity. His throat closed up on him, trying to think of anything that would fill the awkward silence and distract her from looking at him the way she was. 

“Did you want to...talk to me about something?” 

He gulped. For some reason, his mind was good at doing this thing where it wouldn’t shut up when he was alone, but when he needed to talk, especially to Tohru, it was suddenly nowhere to be found. He could almost hear Shigure sneering at him in the background, making idiotic comments as always.  _ Cat got your tongue, Kyon? _

It was too late. She finally began to eye him up and down, trailing from his feet all the way to finally meeting his eyes again, and then a sudden glitter of realization sprung onto her. Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands together. 

“Ah! Do you want to sleep in your bed tonight? Is that why you have the blanket with you? I’m sorry, I should have known sooner! I’ll switch with you right now.” 

Just like that, the tension he held in his chest suddenly dissolved into nothing. Of course, this was Tohru for crying out loud. 

“You really are something else, huh?” he sighed heavily.

He huffed again, rubbing his eye and recollecting his thoughts. Calm down, calm down. 

“I wanted to check up on...you.”

She looked at him as if he was speaking French. 

“..Me?” 

“That’s what I said, right?” 

As always, her eyes never went off of him. He felt as though he was being strangled every time he caught her stare, the blanket growing hotter and heavier on him. He growled in annoyance. 

“But if you want to go back to bed, that’s fine too. It’s up to you, I’m not sweating it.” he didn't know why he always back-peddled when it came to stuff like this. Whenever faced with talking to her and taking initiative, he felt the need to soil every invitation by directly letting her know how much he didn’t care. That was one of the biggest things he hated about himself. 

“Kyo…,”

“What?” 

“Can we make some tea together?” 

 

✭

 

“You’re good at brewing tea leaves.”`

Kyo lifted the kettle off its stove, the sharp whistle of steam that escapes its pot sounding out and filling the room. He finally released it from its captor, lifting the lid and watching the round puff of vapor follow it before dissipating completely, leaving the room a little bit warmer. He let out a curt scoff. 

“Yeah? Like making a pot of tea is possible to be bad at.”

Tohru watched as he worked from afar, sitting on the futon whilst Kyo was in the kitchen. She had offered numerous times, she counts 9, to help him make things and take some of the workloads off of him. Like usual, however, he was stubborn about denying her to even come close to the kitchen, let alone touch anything. She fussed with her fingers, running them up and down the nightshirt she was wearing and constantly intertwining them together to stop herself. 

She felt useless, sitting as someone catered to everything she needed. She needed to return the favor somehow, someway, but she somehow already knew that he wouldn’t accept any offer she gave. 

“Hey.”

She snapped up again, jumping at the bark of his voice. 

“Don’t start worrying about giving back to me, because I can tell that you are. Seriously, it’s just a cup of tea.” 

Her hold on her shirt grew tighter, grip filled with a strange anxiety. It was almost eerie how many times Tohru felt as though he was reading her mind, every time he looked at her with that those warm eyes, it was always in a calculated and knowing way. Perhaps she was simply more translucent with her emotions than she had really considered.

“I...wasn’t worrying..,” she meekly defended, trying to keep the embarrassment that wavered in her voice from showing to him. However, he caught her eyes once more before an awkward smirk faintly tugged at his lips. Her cheeks went hot. 

Finally, he walked over and handed her a mug, faintly adding to wait before trying to drink any of it. Wafts of steam filled her nose and she took it in happily. There was a distinct familiarity with the drink’s smell as she took in the hints of citruses and spice that danced in her head. She tightened her grip on the cup and brought it near her lips, but only sniffing it even more. Such a lovely scent. 

“You’re weirdly excited.”

She laughed. 

“It’s like I said, Kyo-Kun's really good at making tea! This smells delicious~.” 

A ghost of a chuckle escaped him as he sat down, which was a first for Tohru. It was a small, barely audible laugh that most people wouldn’t have caught had they not paying attention, but hearing it made her heart leap. She stilled, taken aback by her own reaction to such a normal thing. 

Just as quickly as it came, the awkward smile he was wearing soon faded. His face hardened again, his gaze dropped to the floor as well. She followed his eyes and traced back to her leg. She was already too aware of what he was looking at exactly, the now scabs and fading bruises that were peppered onto his skin. 

“Is it bad?” his voice was soft, nearly tender. She didn’t want to turn back to him, instead of keeping her eyes on it and reliving the memories that took place in the snow. The iciness of the air crawling down her back as she let out a shiver. 

“I can walk on it, it could definitely be a lot worse.” That was a white lie. She couldn’t exactly walk, more so slightly limp or hobble and putting pressure on it made her tear up immediately. But it could, technically, be worse. “I’m very lucky that you showed up.” 

She could recall the splashes of water ringing out in her ear as he ran towards her. The white snow reflecting the street lights and bringing brilliance to his orange hair. That’s all Tohru could remember before her vision cut to black. But there was also a faint echo that yelled while she replayed the memory. 

_ “Tohru?” _

_ He said your name.  _

“Were you ever planning on telling me?” she pressed. “That you really knew who I was?” 

There was a brief silence. 

“Well, yeah I mean,” his words sounded strangled and uncomfortable. She kicked herself for being too forward. “I just didn’t want to overload you and make you feel creeped out, I guess. I dunno, there wasn’t too much time to explain myself a lot.” 

She laughed. “Sohma-kun did that for you, I suppose.” 

His nose wrinkled at his name, putting up an almost comically disgusted look. “Just another reason why I can’t have asshole around me.” he spat.  he finally took a sip of his tea, which reminded Tohru of the fact hers hadn’t been touched yet. She brought her mug close to her lips and surrendered to its warmth as she drinks. Immediately, she recognized it’s flavor as it filled her with familiar comfort. Ginseng. Exactly how she liked it. 

“This isn’t about me though, okay?” he quickly added, settling back into his usual tone of irritability. “I mean like, you’re the one who's been through a lot of shit probably. And I haven’t heard you talk about it at all yet, so..,” 

She could see his ears began to turn different shades of the rose as he struggled, even more, to string sentences together. He wore his usual bothered scowl, but the warmth that came to his cheeks spoke differently. 

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

A pit formed in her stomach when they locked eyes. This time, neither of them pulled away, letting his words fall heavy as Tohru came to the realization that he truly meant what he was saying.  _ He’s been awake because he’s worried about me. _ She gulped, and suddenly the tea that was sitting inside her ignited again, and before she knew it, she felt that same heat that only he seemed to kindle dance around and settle into her chest. It felt as though she was doused in gasoline from the inside and had swallowed a lit match, fire swelling into his lungs and ready to make her burst altogether. She firmed her lips together. 

“Kyo-kun?”

He didn’t answer immediately, but Tohru felt a held breath escape him. She could tell he had been anticipating what she would say.

“Yeah?”  

She took a deep breath and exhaled the pain, and just like that, the fire slowly died out with it. Her eyes suddenly stung and she wasn’t sure if it was from the burn inside of her or the emotions that she felt crawling up her throat. Suddenly, the dam inside of her finally snapped everything inside her spilling everywhere. She hiccuped, swallowing back a dry sob and shutting her eyes, letting tears that were brimming finally spill. They were hot as well, tainting her skin as she began to wipe them away with her sleeves. 

“H-hey, wait a minute..,” she heard him say. His voice only made them come even faster, now completely blurring her eyesight as she frantically tried to stop them. Why was she like this? Why did he make her feel like this? 

“I...I don’t know.” she finally choked out between sniffs. 

“You don’t know?” he repeated. He didn’t sound bothered anymore, more concerned than anything. She could hear him shifting himself better and leaning closer to where she was. 

“I’m just s-so..,” she struggled, “I’m just so confused at everything that happened right now. I don’t remember any of you are and suddenly I’m sharing a house with you, taking your bed. You say you barely know me from high school, but know my name, what I’m thinking and even my favorite kind of tea. And every time I’m near you I feel…,” 

Her hands were shaking at this point, her sleeves now soaked as small whimpers slipped out at times. Truly, she must’ve been losing it. She usually never wanted to let other people worry about her, and here she was spilling her guts to this supposed stranger. She gulped some air in and forced herself to continue.  

“I feel like something is off, Kyo-kun. You’re too kind. You’re too kind and I don’t know why I’m receiving so much kindness when I haven’t done anything to pay you back. I wish I knew how I felt but everything is so confusing. I don’t know how to feel about anything anymore. I can’t tell you if I’m okay because I don’t kn--”

She felt a grip tighten around her wrists and she let out a small gasp. Slowly, they were brought down from her eyes and she was faced with him looking at her solemnly. She wanted to throw them back up and hide her swollen eyes and flushed face, to apologize for letting herself break like this and keeping him up late. She wanted to just go back into the room and melt into the floorboards. To just stop being such a nuisance. To stop being so confused. 

“I understand.” he finally broke. His grasp on her wrists relaxed as he slowly lowered them to her sides, fingers still lingering for a couple of seconds before he pulled those away as well. 

“I didn’t really think things through when I brought you over here, I just saw you and reacted, I guess.” he rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke. He wasn’t struggling anymore nor did he seem nearly as flustered. 

“Things are probably really confusing right now because you don’t have the full story about what's really happening, and that’s probably my fault. I haven’t really been honest with you on everything. I guess that’s what's really eating at me.” 

Her brows knitted. “Your...fault?” 

He finally let out a sigh.

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow.” 

She stared at him. He groaned. 

“Tomorrow, I’m gonna give you some money and you’re gonna get some new clothes because you can’t just stay wearing my old shirts. It’s really annoying.” 

His face sobered, eyes seemingly determined.

“And then, I’m going to tell you everything. Okay?”

✭

For the first time, Yuki wasn’t completely sure how to navigate the Sohma Estate. 

He stood with the wooded gates behind him, staring at the vast numbers of housing that snaked through the tall fortress trees and cobble streets. Besides distant wind chimes that swayed lazily and the usual whistle of the trees from the wind, it was incredibly quiet inside the grounds. It was a little bit early in the morning,  so the fog hadn’t exactly cleared from the property and gave it’s entirety a more eerie look than usual.

The irony of his situation was both amusing and depressing. For the past 3 years, he had fought so vigorously against ever stepping foot into the estate so long as he lived, despite the other zodiac members trying to convince him for New Years, and had held onto that promise up into this moment. 

He began walking, a paper in hand with directions. 

Though the Sohma did come from a lot of wealth, the housing inside didn’t carry a lot of variety in them. They all displayed similar models, being two-story houses painted with earthy tones and well-kept porches and clean exteriors. The roofing and general make of them were all copies of each other. It was disorienting almost, making a turn and seeing nearly identical homes surround you, with no present inhabitants. 

 He felt like he was in a maze.  

Before, his feet instinctively carried him between the winding roads. Whilst growing up, living inside the estate was his own personal world. He remembered being so far removed from the outside for so long, only knowing the same people’s faces, same buildings, same treatment. 

He turned around a corner and could pick out a slightly larger building peeking over some of the fencings. His chest twinged immediately. Without warning the memories washed over him. How could he have ever forgotten his frequent visits to Hatori’s? 

“Yuki?”

He identified the voice immediately. A smile overtook his lips.

“Momiji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~  
> So I haven't been updating as frequently as I want to, and I will take the fall for that. I do still attend school which is kicking my ass right now, and I don't want to update a chapter that I'm not proud of to make up for time, so forgive me!   
> How did you guys like the ending of the Furuba season? I personally wasn't a fan of how they LAUNCHED Tohru into the lake, but that could just be me.   
> Until Next Time!


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